I want all that is not mine
by companyundercovers
Summary: Blair knows that only princesses get happily ever afters not queens but he's kissing her and she hates herself because she's all breathy and everything is Dan, Dan, Dan.


**I.**

Intro: Once upon a time...

Blair is laying on the floor of Serena's princess themed bedroom, listening to her golden best friend go on and on about Cinderella and how amazing it would be to be a princess.

Blair is only 10 but she thinks the plot of this particular fairy tale is boring. She gets it, Cinderella is good to the core and gets everything she wants but Blair's more interested in the ins and outs of the background characters. She has always thought the secondary characters truly made the story interesting.

So naturally she finds it annoying that only a few lines are dedicated to the Queen's storyline. Some brush off line about how happy she was for her son. Pretty unrealistic Blair decides because the Queen was the most powerful in the land and surely she deserved more description. Whatever, she resigns herself to the knowledge that only princesses reign in these happily ever after scenarios.

"Wouldn't it be just wonderful to be a princess, B?"  
Blair swallows her annoyance, shoving it away to the back of her mind so she can answer Serena's question. She shrugs and stares at her best friend's beautiful blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes and thinks Serena is already a princess. Blair mutters, "Sure."

And Serena van der Woodsen, Princess of the Upper East Side smiles.

**II.**

Blair grows up. Her subjects name her Queen B.  
She can't decide whether it's a compliment or an insult and gives up trying when it takes too long to figure out.

They call Chuck her King.  
She figures it's an appropriate title, considering their on again off again, will they won't they, clusterfuck of a relationship. And the fact that Chuck is just as ruthless and brilliant as her.

The Upper East Side needs someone to reign over it and who better than Chuck and Blair. Right?

**III.**

When her and Chuck are off again, Blair decides a little stopover in Brooklyn wouldn't be the end of the world. (_It might be the end of her's though.)_

She knocks on Humphrey's door and he's got the good sense to pretend to be surprised and she is not at all happy he does. He opens the door just wide enough for her to step in and the brush of his skin against hers as she walks through the door may or may not feel like home.

"What brings you here to my neck of the woods?"  
He says, keeping his distance, perched on a bar stool across the room.

Blair rolls her eyes. "One, never say that again. Two, actually never say anything again. That would definitely be preferable."

He laughs and smiles in this annoying way like he is so fond of her or something. And he really shouldn't do that because he and Serena just broke up which should mean depression and general drunkenness. But Blair feels this overwhelming relief that he isn't wallowing so strongly she takes a deep breath to settle herself.

"It's been awhile that's all." Dan breathes out.  
And yeah. It's been 2 months, 7 hours, and give or take 10 minutes since they last talked. No big deal. She's barely noticed.

"I was bored. Dorota is off and Mom's in Paris. And since I know you have no social life..." Blair trails off looking at her nails.

She hears Dan slide off the stool and walk towards her and he must have read between the lines of her horrible, horrible explanation. Must have heard what she was really trying to stay, some breathless form of missed you, need you, hate you.  
_(She isn't surprised; he's always been good at reading her, knowing her.)_  
Because the next things she knows is he's kissing her and she hates herself because she's all breathy and everything is Dan, Dan, Dan.

**IV.**

Later, wrapped in his, she doesn't even want to the guess thread count, blue sheet, he is reading to her some part of a story he just started. His scratchy voice stumbles over his poetic lines.

He asks her what she thinks. Blair plays her role accordingly, tells him to quit writing that Hemingway-esque shit, and provides the necessary corrections with his chewed up pencil.

Dan reads her note, smiles, looks up and captures her lips with his.

She thinks kissing Dan might be her favorite activity, with his hands under her thighs and hers fingering the hair that brushes the back of his neck.

Not that anyone knows or cares and if they asked she would plead the fifth because the Queen in Brooklyn is a punishable offense.

She knows the rules, after all she made them.

**V.**

Gossip Girl posts a picture of Humphrey and Blair and waxes poetic about their domesticated ways.

An hour after it's posted, Chuck is circling her again like the vulture he is and she is unimpressed. Although, his commitment to his crown is commendable. Tells her it's time to fulfill her duty. She tells him to get over himself but she does take her crown just as seriously as he does and a Queen's work is just never done apparently.

Blair commits herself to getting over Dan, for real this time. Serena did it in no timel at all, currently roaming around Europe with some boy whose name Blair can't recall.

Blair decides to cut all future contact with Humphrey which is something she's needed to do for awhile now. The smell of Brooklyn was almost impossible to wash out of her clothes. She realizes this means no late night phone calls, movie watching, and especially no kissing. But every queen has made sacrifices for the throne and this is no different.

"I'm Blair Waldorf, Queen B and when I set my mind to something I can do anything." She tells herself, repeating the mantra over and over again.

She decides being indoors is too suffocating and this thought has nothing to do with the movie ticket stub for Breakfast at Tiffany's that she dragged Dan to, currently laying on her floor. Nothing at all. On her walk downstairs, she sees the familiar plaid and dark curls of that damned Brooklyn boy sitting on her couch and the mantra in her head is on full volume now.

"Blair. "

"Humphrey. "

"Going out?" He looks miserable, eyes downcast, unshaven, and wrinkled.  
And Blair's heart thumps wildly in her chest. And no, no, no they are not doing this again.

"What gave you that idea?" she replies snottily. And she realizes that she is being the epitome of an ice bitch and knows it's unfair but he should really just get with the memo.

He just stares at her with his stupid chocolate brown eyes and there is this pull between them even when they are sixty seven degrees apart and if Blair thought she was suffocating upstairs then this is a thousand times worse.

Her heels click loudly as she quickly walks down the stairs because she can't stand to be in this room any longer.

But Humphrey has her pinned against the piano in record time. And she can smell his ridiculously cheap cologne and she melts against him. His lips brush her ear and she sighs and wonders when the hell she became this person. When did Lonely Boy from Brooklyn become her kryptonite?

Her hands trace his spine and the keys of the piano play this broken melody when he grinds himself against her more thoroughly. And Blair's sigh turns into a moan.

"Don't walk away from this." Dan breathes into her hair, with his hands pressing bruises into her hips. And she hates that Dan is doing this. They've always had this relationship where discussing their mutual attraction for one another goes unvoiced. It makes it easier to move on when everything goes to shit, if they never defined anything, never talked about how real this thing between them actually was. But Dan has always liked to break the rules, coming to Upper East Side from Brooklyn, falling in love with its Princess and Queen.

"Stay with me." His lips form the words against hers and she thinks it's the most god damned romantic thing and she hates him for it. He whispers _please_ against her neck and Blair arches against him. The piano's song is twisted and cruel as he backs her further onto it and Blair can't help but think it must be a metaphor for something.

Her phone rings, abruptly ending her hand's journey down his chest.  
It's Chuck.

Of course it's Chuck, it's always Chuck.

She gets it universe. The throne is calling.

She removes herself from Dan's arms, tells Chuck she'll be there in 10 minutes and hangs up. She can feel Dan's eyes burning a hole through her head as she fixes her hair.

He laughs bitterly. "No one can ever say I didn't try, right?"  
And she will not cry because she's Blair Waldorf, Queen of the Upper East Side.

"Yeah, at least there's that." She says with a small smile and she always was good at lying to herself especially._  
_

She gives him one last look and walks out the door.

Blair doesn't believe in regrets but if she did this might classify as one.

**VI.**

Outro: Happily Ever After...

Serena and Dan get married on a beach 5 years later.

Blair decides that only Serena would insist on a tacky beach wedding and only Humphrey would agree.

At the ceremony, Blair watches as Dan twirls her glimmering, golden best friend around the dance floor.  
A women standing next to Blair whispers in awe, "Doesn't she look like a princess?"

Blair gives her a cold stare and the woman walks away. Blair agrees with her though. Serena's always been a princess in her mind and everyone else's.

Serena van der Woodsen, Serena Humphrey now, Princess of the Upper East Side.

It makes sense for her to be happy and carefree and beautiful just like all princesses are when they reach the end of the story with the true love's kiss and happily ever after.

Chuck comes to stand beside her as she watches and grabs her hand, pressing a kiss against her wedding ring he placed there a year ago. It's a subtle reminder of duty to the throne and she refuses to be bitter.

Blair's heart steels _(or was it like that already) _and she reminds herself that queens don't get a happily ever after, just some line about how happy she is for the prince and princess.

She decides she's okay with that. There's this beauty_ (or is it agony)_ in accepting your fate, your role in this world.

Queen B smiles happily as she watches the Prince and Princess glide effortlessly on the dance floor.

And when the Prince's eyes connect with hers sometime later that night and her breathing falters and heart begins to race, Blair reminds herself that as Queen she is entitled to her secrets.


End file.
